Category Archives: food stalls

by | 05/20/2011 · 3:16 pm

What your khao mun gai place says about you

Have you ever read those stories promising to tell you all you need to know about yourself, based on something completely random, like, what’s in your left pocket at that particular moment, or what ice cream you had last week? I certainly do! Aren’t the findings always totally arbitrary, and frequently infuriating? Yay, random generalizations!

So let’s pass judgment, even though we know absolutely nothing about each other! Where do you like to eat your Hainanese chicken rice?

Montien Hotel Ruenton Coffee Shop (54 Surawongse Rd.)

You like tradition, and stability, and saying you know more than anyone else. You like big portions, and creature comforts, and stuffing your face. You are kind of boring and your friends are only pretending to listen to what you say. You also really like good chicken rice. For the record, this is my favoritest chicken rice, EVAH, still, after all these years. I like this chicken rice almost as much as I, like, commas.

What makes it isn’t really the big tranche of plump, tender chicken meat (dark meat or breast), topped (or not) with a sliver of skin, nestled next to two slices of congealed chicken blood and resting atop sliced tomato and cucumbers. It’s not even really the rice, glistening with chicken fat. It’s the sauce. People who really like sauce will LOVE this dish, which comes with not one, not two, but FOUR sauces: sweet thick, slivered ginger, brown bean/garlic, and soy sauce/chili. Yum!

Khao Mun Gai Gwon Oo (at Thalad Gow, Yaowaraj)

You are straightforward and like simplicity and honesty. You dislike and mistrust frou-frou, complications and anything overly ornate. This means you are a little bit like a hobbit, or other magical little creature that people idealize without actually envying.

I like the chicken rice here because it is about pure chicken flavor. The boiled chicken is presented simply, shredded and without skin, on top of rice carefully cooked in chicken stock and set off by slivered cucumbers for texture. The sauce and soup are almost like afterthoughts. This dish is about substance, not bells and whistles. It’s almost … wholesome (for a dish where chicken fat plays a starring role).

Gai Tawn Pratunam  (Petchburi Soi 30)

You like nostalgia, reminiscing over your plate of food with dusk threatening, headlights sliding past you as you contemplate next week’s work project. You are social and trusting and tend to believe the best in people. Also, you are sort of old.

Random enough for you? Honestly, this place is pretty good, even if I don’t get to it as often as I could. I would totally have included it in my book … if not for the, uh, 50 other food stalls that I put in it. So there’s that. They are proud of their dish and take care in selecting and presenting the best chicken (non-egg-laying female chickens, to be precise) that they can. The soup has good flavor and service is efficient. It has all these things going for it. They don’t need little old me anyway. We can still live together in harmony.

Shanghai Chicken Rice (Rama IV)

You yearn for adventure, newness and surprising others. You hate convention and conformity, and like to be onto the Next Big Thing before anyone else. However, your tendency to tell people about the Next Big Thing helps to undermine you, and can sometimes threaten to make you look like an asshat. You are probably a food blogger.

Because this place is open 24 hours, you are also probably a bit of a night owl. Nighttime is good for you, because this place is a lot less crowded when it’s not serving lunch. You have your choice of steamed or fried chicken, rice with Chinese seaweed, or “Shanghai chicken rice” with a dipping sauce liberally flavored with chili oil. For you, variety is good, and the possibilities are endless.

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, chicken, food, food stalls, restaurant, rice, Thai-Chinese, Thailand

by | 05/14/2011 · 11:05 am

Groupthink

I recently took a test called the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI, for people who are thisclose with this sort of stuff. BFF!), and discovered that I am an INFP. In case you aren’t well-versed in the alphabet soup-like murk that is the MBTI, allow me to illuminate you (because that is my leading function. No, it is really not): there are different kinds of people in the world. One group of people likes to go out and make friends and be happy, and the other likes to mope around in their rooms, listening to The Smiths and doodling “Mrs. Tom Colicchio” in their journals over and over again. Yes, they do! And one group likes to look at the world as it actually is, and the other likes go lala in lala-land with their fingers in their ears. And one group likes to think and be logical, and the other…you get the picture…they don’t like logic, no not at all.

So take all those characteristics that pretty much guarantee you will be misunderstood and socially awkward, and you get INFP. This makes it tricky for us (2.2 percent of the population, because I’m all about the numbers. No, I’m really not) to go out and socialize, but if there is a stonking big heap of deliciously grilled scallops, myriad bowls of fried noodles and a couple of plump sea bass(es…?) cocooned in a layer of banana leaves, there is enough distraction to ensure that no one will go away thinking you are a great big weirdo who says strange things.

That is why I like Elvis Suki (00/37 Soi Yodsae, Plabplachai Rd., 081-899-5533, 02-223-4979, open 17-23 daily. Now with an air-conditioned room!). Because there is a lot of food there. Also because it is delicious. Thai-style sukiyaki is a sort of hot-pot that a Thai-Chinese man claimed to have invented in the 1960s from a dream (no, seriously, I am not making this up…probably. His restaurant is on Rama IV road next to the “Galaxy No-Hands restaurant”, another great Thai contribution to the world).

The suki here comes ready-made and is not so purty, so there is a bit of disappointment for those ESTJ types who like to boss everyone around and do everything themselves (just kidding. No, I’m really not), but the delicious, sweet-tart sauce lightens the sting a bit. Another dish that completely wipes out that sting and replaces it with the food-inspired goosebumps that all people who love food know and chase, every day: a whole sea bass, slathered in a swampy mass of lemongrass, kaffir lime leaf, galangal, and some other stuff that the waiter is very wary of revealing, baked in a banana leaf — a dish so yummy it will solve everyone’s problems and bring about world peace. I did not take a photo because everyone ate the fish before I could get to it. The second one, too. Selfish bastards.

The namesake dish

But I did manage to take a photo of their unofficial specialty, hoy shell song krueang, a grilled scallop paired with a tiny chunk of pork — ingenious — which, when drizzled with a little of the sweet-tart seafood sauce, bring out the sweetness in each other. Really! What I’m talking about:

All kinds of yum

The only thing about eating here, and I’m sorry introverts, but it’s true — you need a big group. Bribe them with fish and scallops. Pretend that you’re a lot of fun to be around. Tell them about the ice cream in front, a great little stand scooping up freshly made sorbets of lime, coconut, lychee and zalacca, plus “off” flavors like beer, vodka Red Bull, and banana-cheese (tonguefun@gmail.com, 089-111-6836). If worse comes to worst, go find an ESFP. They’ll believe the best about anyone.

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, fish, food, food stalls, noodles, seafood, Thai-Chinese, Thailand

by | 05/06/2011 · 3:19 pm

Veggie delite

Papdi chat at the India Emporium

On a recent trip to Ayutthaya to buy sausages (I know what you are thinking, that I have no life, but did I mention that these are GERMAN-STYLE sausages?), I encountered something very troubling and did something totally out of character. At the restaurant, there were many dogs, but one was tied up and two little boys were trying to force the poor dog into a tiny little cage, prodding her with sticks and occasionally giving a kick for good measure.

This is not something I want to see while I am trying to stuff my face with frankfurters and deep-fried pork knuckle, or anything else, for that matter. I tried to intervene several times, chastising the boys and looking to their freaking PARENTS for some back-up. Finally, after forcibly removing the stick from the boys and yelling at them to STOP, I asked the parents why this dog was tied up.

Apparently, the dog was “bothering customers” by being overly friendly, and so rather than letting her “bother” customers, they tied her up. Somehow, the thought that seeing this defenseless animal abused might bother their customers did not occur to anyone. Or that having their kids disciplined by some random stranger was a bad thing. This trip made me rethink a few things, namely: 1.) the “evil” of corporal punishment on obnoxious, mean-spirited kids, 2.) whether I can ever go back to that restaurant again, no matter how good the sausages are supposed to be and 3.) if I can’t stand to see animals being mistreated, what about the meat that I eat every day?

So I’ve been trying to eat less meat, and I haven’t exploded from yearning or frustration yet. What has helped: the southern Indian (read: vegetarian) stand at the food court in Pahurat’s India Emporium (561 Chakapet Rd., 02-623-9301), a magical place promising gastronomic delights of all descriptions — Thai and non-vegetarian included — but brimming (unusually, for a place like Thailand) with all matter of vegetarian dishes and flavors.

Truth is, real vegetarian (when it’s not Buddhist Lent) is hard to come by in a country where fish sauce is part of the essential flavor profile (although I did meet two Thais the other day who found fish sauce “smelly” and used light soy sauce and salt instead. What is this world coming to? Next thing you know, chilies will be too “spicy” and Tabasco will be considered living on the edge. Thailand: the Erie, Pennsylvania of the future.)

So being a vegetarian here can be a bit of a chore, especially if you want to eat on the street (which explains why a lot of people go pescatarian when they live here). And while the food court at India Emporium is hardly the sweltering, National Geographic-worthy adventure that a trek into, say, the side-streets of Yaowaraj can be, it IS in one of the most exciting neighborhoods in Bangkok — full of color, interesting smells (not ALL unpleasant) and food you won’t easily find anywhere else. A case in point:

Masala dosa

These thin crepe-like dosas are made fresh before your eyes and stuffed with masala and, if you like, cheese, before they are served with a vegetable soup, yogurt and chutney. If, say, you went crazy and started ordering everything you saw because you were so moved by the color and chaos of the surrounding neighborhood and also got lentil fritters, soaking in a red-tinged vegetable broth, and papdi chat, puffy air-filled bits of dough slathered in yogurt, coriander chutney and tamarind sauce AS WELL AS a lovely rasmalai (cottage cheese dumplings in milk with almonds) and a double order of gulab jaman (uh, too sweet here, not aromatic with cardamom like it should be), the nice young man at the counter won’t bat an eye or judge you (too much) for your Gluttony, not at all. No, he’ll be fine and you can go on living like you are completely normal. For realz.

Veggie soup

So, India Emporium food court: the place of non-judgmental face-stuffing. And, much of it is vegetarian. Also, no crappy 7-year-old sociopaths. These are all good things.

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, food, food stalls, shopping, Thailand