Category Archives: food

About my grandma, and sausage

For as long as I can remember, I was told to refer to my grandmother as “Jiao Yai” (Lady Grandma). As a kid in Amish country somewhere in western Pennsylvania, I thought all Thais called their mother’s mother this term. Grandpa would be content with being a “khun tha”, but grandmas required something a little better.

I found out my grandma was kind of like a princess when we were getting ready to move back to Thailand. Her grandfather Inthawarorot had been the 8th of his line to “govern” Chiangmai; her father had been slated to be his heir. Her family name was “Na Chiangmai”, which, like “Na Ayutthaya”, “Na Songkhla”, or the like, means “Of [insert town name here]”.

Because I am really shallow, I became interested in my mom’s family history because of my grandma. When there were family gatherings, like a big ol’ buzzard, I was there, devouring scraps of old family gossip, hidden (and not so hidden) resentments, embroidering a new mental narrative of myself. Family dynamics were fascinating to me — there were “greater jiao” and “lesser jiao” (guess which branch yours truly belongs in?) and celebrations featuring dancers with ribbons and peacock feathers where everyone dresses up in old Thai clothing and complains about the heat (that’s just me, actually. I sweat a lot, what can I say?)

Best of all, there is gorgeous, life-changing, extraordinary Thai food. Getting gussied up in diapers and gossiping are all well and good, but after a couple of times, that story about Uncle So-and-so in 1847 gets old. The food never got old. It became the reason I still lurk, an ever-hungry buzzard, on the edges of family conversations, inviting myself to this or that party against the wishes of everyone involved. There is gabong, battered and deep-fried pumpkin, beans and whatnot (northern Thai tempura!) with a sweet chili dipping sauce. A sort of gaeng som in crystal-clear broth with chunks of pomfret, intense and flavorful despite its prettiness. A nam prik pla rah (fermented fish chili paste), tangy and salty but strangely un-fishy. Gluay buat chee, bananas served in a hot coconut milk, soft and comforting and almost buttery in taste.

And then there is the sai oua (northern Thai sausage), which I will always associate with my grandma. Obviously, my grandma has never stuffed a sausage link in her long life, but her cook has made exemplary sausage since I was a little girl, and although lots of places make nice sai oua (Soul Food Mahanakorn, the 5th floor of Emporium), I will always associate this particular sausage — fiery, yellow, flecked with fragrant herbs — with her. Nothing compares to my Grammy’s.

Too bad it’s so hard to get the freaking recipe. When I call Porn, my grandma’s cook, it’s a list of vagaries: “Get some shallots — 10 baht worth at the market near Victory Monument … some garlic …” “How much?” “Oh, well … five?” “Five cloves?” “Well, yes.” “What else? What else?” “Kaffir lime leaf, coriander, oh, slice it really thinly.” “Are there seasonings?” “What?” “ARE THERE SEASONINGS?” “Well, salt, and fish sauce, and MSG, and [something unintelligible] and curry base … mix all of that together …” “Anything else? Is there pork?” “Oh yes, pork. Maybe 2 kilos? Soak dried chilies in hot water, and don’t forget the pak chee farang … don’t forget the turmeric! You can’t forget the turmeric.” After guesstimating a handful of shallots as “10 baht worth” and mixing central and southern Thai curry paste to get a nice orange color, I end up with a paste that I think will work. I also get a kilo of minced pork and a kilo of minced pork fat.

Luckily, it was way easier to stuff the sausages than to make up the stuffing. Jarrett Wrisley, the owner of Soul Food, was kind enough to let my friend Chris and me use his sausage casings (100 percent natural!) and his kitchen, as well as his sai oua expertise — we used a mixture of fish sauce, salt and soy sauce, just like Jarrett does for his own, MSG-free sai oua. Chris made a gorgeous Polish sausage, slightly tart and salty, and a nice chicken sausage studded with dried apple.

Getting stuffed

The final product? When I got home, the first thing I did was turn on the oven and cook my very first sai oua. The result: burnished mahogany, soft on the inside, juices running from the pan.

Again, there is lots of great sai oua in the world, but nothing compares to my Grammy’s.

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, cooking, food, Northern Thailand, recipe, Thailand

Mid-life crisis

Beef mataba (stuffed Thai-Muslim pancake) at Roti-Mataba

When people talk about having a mid-life crisis, they are thinking about something like a loss of identity or the mourning of things that have passed us by, never to return, like the opportunity to go braless. Or the ability to digest 1 kg of meat without any repercussions. Or a deep, uninterrupted sleep. Oh, so many things to mourn!

But there are other things, more insidious. Because I am all about listing bad stuff, over and over again, here’s another one: being taken for granted. Underrated. Your opinions rendered irrelevant. Low tide at sunset, and you the fish wriggling in the shallows, somewhere between a dead jellyfish and plastic bottle.

And it’s not just about getting annoyed by things that other people inexplicably LOVE, like that teacher on Glee, who, every time he opens his mouth, moves a part of me that wants to kick his face in, even though he hasn’t done anything to me ever (I’m not lying. He’s on TV now and I want to shoot myself. Yet I can’t change the channel. Is this the point of Glee?) It’s about being dismissed in spite of your successes. In this context, I am obviously not talking about me, sitting in front of the television on a butterfly chair borrowed from my grandma because I have no furniture. I’m talking about Greyhound Cafe.

Because, for whatever reason, Greyhound is not considered a serious place to eat, the “See Fah” of the contemporary Bangkok dining scene. But let me tell you a story about Greyhound. Once, 100 years ago, it didn’t exist. Emporium was new, rising up out of the rubble of the last Bronze Age. My friend Tutti and I were making the rounds of this new, glittering place and she got to talking to a gentleman hatching plans to open a new restaurant in the next few months. He said the menu would be a bit strange, a bit of this and that, a Thai-Italian mix. Being the wonderful people we are, we waited until we left him to laugh at his idea. Thai-Italian? Awful. Who would eat this dreck? Fusion suxx!

Today, this man is probably on a yacht in the Andaman Sea, snacking on “Sandwich in a Bowl”, in a T-shirt reading “Complicated Noodle 4Eva”. Spaghetti pad kee mao is commonplace, and cutesy versions of Thai food staples like fried rice, nam prik or khao pad are everywhere in the city. This place now has a gazillion branches. Yet it’s still “just Greyhound”, mired in the restaurant version of a mid-life crisis. It was the best sort of fusion — a look into the future, reflecting how Bangkokians really eat. But what have you done for me lately, Greyhound?

Roti-Mataba (136 Pra Arthit Rd., 02-282-2119, open 9am-10pm except Mondays) is not a fusion restaurant. But it’s also in a mid-life crisis.  Among the most popular places to try Thai-Muslim food in the city, this khao raad gaeng (rice and curry) standby is seen as touristy, a bit blah, ignored in favor of younger, newer Thai-Muslim places that are harder to find — hence, more “authentic”. Later, sometime in the evening when the rats are scurrying next to your table and your beef curry noodles are strangely flavorless, watered d0wn in a failed attempt to make them last longer, you think back to the cheery, well-lit shophouse that is Roti-Mataba, and the women who tirelessly make new roti throughout the day. Roti that would eventually be dunked into a peanut-strewn bowl of beef mussaman curry, or a green chicken curry, the surface flecked with fat and basil. Better yet, roti slathered in chocolate sauce, dotted with slices of ripe banana.

That’s when you start to feel regret. Roti-Mataba, I have been away for too long.

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, curries, food, food stalls, restaurant, Thai-Muslim, Thailand

Confessions

The ultimate Thai fast food

It’s a painful thing to admit, but what better place to bare one’s soul than on the Internet, where anonymous identities and remote locations encourage people to be polite and kind and lovely? So here goes: I have a problem. It’s been taking up more and more of my time. I used to use it as a reward — if I finished writing a paragraph or two of something, then I would get my fix of it. I would promise myself that it would only be for a little while. Invariably, four hours later, dusk gloaming on the horizon, I would find the day has completely passed me by.

My problem is this website: http://www.towerofthehand.com/ I am obsessed with it. I cannot go a day without visiting it. And it appears I am not the only one. Trawling through other people’s comments, I am struck by the other people who visit daily — and have done so for the past 5 years (!) That is some serious dedication to this mind-crack that they call “Game of Thrones” (OK, they don’t really call it that. That’s the TV series. The books, collectively, are “A Song of Ice and Fire”, but I cannot bring myself to admit that this is what I am addicted to, because that makes it even dorkier than it already is.)

Why, pray tell, am I so enamored with this series (OK, ASOIAF, guys, that’s how fans refer to it in shorthand. It is known. Please, someone, shoot me with a crossbow!)? Am I having a mid-life crisis, and instead of morphing into the cool late-adolescence-early-twenties-era me-that-could-have-been (speaking of could-have-been, what if what’s-his-face had lived? Oops, SPOILER ALERT. But then again why are you here? Mom’s calling you to dinner!) I have relapsed into 13-year-old real-me, with glasses, braces and a mullet, playing Dungeons & Dragons in Josh Lamancusa’s basement (is it any wonder why I have a soft spot for Brienne of Tarth?)

I think “Game of Thrones” (I’m just calling it this, OK? Go back to teasing out clues over R+L) is one of the foodiest book series out there. Seriously. I am not the only one to think this. My husband, Tom Colicchio, appears to be a big fan of the George RR Martin books, creating a food truck serving dishes from the book (black fish stew for the Wall; Sansa’s favorite lemon cakes) in the run-up to the HBO series premiere last April. Who knew Chef Tom was so adorably nerdy?

Food is used as a major descriptor in the book, for both place and character. A distracted prince dines on bean paste, flatbread and olives; a tense wedding feast features mashed turnips and jellied calves’ brains; street food in another city showcases unborn puppy and honeyed locusts; and some characters have to make do with grilled horsemeat, mashed acorn paste, or worse. What kinds of places are these? Who are these people? What’s in those pies? The food always illuminates this, and is sometimes a big plot point.

This got me to thinking about Bangkok. Not the food that characterizes Amazing Thailand (or is this Miracle Thailand?) — gem-like sweet dumplings in coconut milk, hot spicy noodles in an intricate egg net — but the food that really puts a mirror up to us, showing us for who we really are.

That food is this: yum Mama. Obvious to passers-by from the boxes of Mama noodles (almost always shrimp tom yum flavor) slung to the side, these street carts blanch Mama noodles from the package, toss them with the included seasonings, lime juice, fish sauce and sugar, and mix them with a handful of assorted seafood, nitrate-rich sausages and greens. The result is tangy, cheap (30 baht) and most of all, quick (a little over a minute from start to finish) — a requisite for people who have little time to moon over pesky details like nutrition and who frankly don’t care, people in an easy land who pretend they will live forever. It’s processed, it’s sloppy, it’s not-so-good for you … but it’s still satisfying, the way a Big Mac is, or a nice big glass of fermented mare’s milk. Or a book ending where ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ARE FINALLY ANSWERED AND YOU CAN STOP TROLLING WEBSITES.

A sign of the times

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Filed under Asia, Bangkok, food, food stalls, noodles, seafood, Thailand