Edible Rorschach tests

Kanom jeen with fermented Thai anchovy at Ginger Farm Kitchen in Bangkok

A few weeks ago, a little story in the New York Times took hold of the imaginations and Twitter feeds of tens of people all over the world. I jest, of course. Almost everyone I followed on Twitter was completely absorbed in this story (including yours truly), at the expense of the work they were supposed to be doing at the time (in my case, watching “Seinfeld” reruns). The story I am referring to, of course, is “Bad Art Friend” by Robert Kolker.

The story — about a writer who takes inspiration (and more than a few words verbatim) from another writer’s Facebook feed to craft her own not-very-complimentary story — sparked a veritable army of analyses from the peanut gallery, most of which were focused on who, indeed, was bad. The hot takes from the Twitterati — like the words of the dueling writers — ended up saying more about they themselves than the people they were judging. Quite a few leveled charges of plagiarism and, tellingly, “race baiting” against one writer; the other was “weird” and “needy”, to the point of even being “narcissistic”. No one came off well, and that included many of the commenters.

Well, here’s my chance now to add to that pile of shitty hot takes. If you haven’t read the story, I envy you — if only because I would love to read the story for the first time all over again. To those people who did not want to wade through 10,000 words (in which case, why are you here at this blog?), here’s one summary. And, not one to rest on their laurels, the New York Times published a recent follow-up with the writer of the story here. Yes, that’s right, I’m here for all your “bad art friend”-related needs. It’s over between Thai street food and me.

To be frank, I don’t give a crap about who the bad art friend is. What stands out to me personally in the story: “I hope it doesn’t feel too weird for your words to have inspired works of art,” says writer Sonya Larson to Dawn Dorland when confronted about her short story. Little did either of those writers know that the work of art that was inspired was the freaking NYT article by Robert Kolker, because that piece was gotdamn good. It was so good I was envious of this Robert Kolker, a man who does not know me and never will; I envy how this man found a way to use each writer’s work to characterize them and, chef’s kiss, used the offending short story to telegraph what would happen to Larson later on, and her subsequent reaction to it. It is a gotdamn Russian nesting doll of narratives! Damn you, Robert Kolker (*shakes fist at sky*).

In any case, I hope it doesn’t feel too weird to Robert Kolker for his words to have inspired this middling blog post. What I see as the sticky premise of Larson’s short story, the cardinal sin of what is ultimately an altruistic act — a donated kidney! — is the demand by the donor to play center stage in the remaining narrative of the recipient’s life. The donor is a savior, an angel come down from the heavens like Glinda the Good Witch, here to rescue the frail Asian woman recipient from her own mediocre organs. She has given the gift that can never be repaid. Still, stubbornly, the Asian woman refuses to acknowledge the donor’s role in her life, against all common sense and propriety. She becomes the bad guy.

There is a similar dynamic to food writing, especially in Asia (see? I finally got there). We welcome international coverage of our great cooks, eateries and ingredients, but when we get it, we are often relegated to the background in favor of the Glinda, the presenter who brings their own point of view to our world. They are the ones who take over center stage, even though we are talking about us. Like the Asian kidney recipient, we gain something, but at the cost of no longer being the protagonist in our own story. Which is why I have (SUPER HOT TAKE ALERT) mixed feelings about Anthony Bourdain.

My personal texts, in an attempt to mirror “Bad Art Friend”

Anthony Bourdain was a godsend to modern American food writing in a lot of ways; he was intelligent, handsome, open-minded about food and witty. His death still leaves a gaping hole in American food media. At the same time, Bourdain — tellingly, the patron saint of male American food writers — remains the hero of the story, even when he’s sucking down noodles in Hanoi or exploring the back alleys of Yangon. He is the white savior centering the story, and his gaze is paramount. He may have been one of the best to do what he did, but it hasn’t stopped millions of others from following in his footsteps, adding to a narrative that is embroidered on a white gaze fabric.

This is how we get stories about weird Thai fruit that looks like coronavirus and is disgusting. This is why I had to answer to the name “Chewbacca”, because my real name was too difficult to learn. This is why I was considered ugly, because my nose was too broad and my eyes too small, nothing like the pretty girls at my school. Even worse, because the white gaze is paramount, we tend to look at ourselves through their eyes instead of our own. This is how Thailand gets fakakta laws about when to buy alcohol and closing bars at midnight, because they don’t want to add fuel to the white gaze fantasy of being an “adult Disneyland” (for whom? Not really for women).

What our food is, really, is an edible Rorschach test, an item to be interpreted at your leisure. What you think about it says a lot about you, and a little less about what’s being judged. Sonya Larson once told Kolker that she wanted to write Rorschach tests that could be interpreted various ways, when really, all of reality is a Rorschach test, a hero or villain depending on whose gaze is involved. She herself has seen this in the aftermath of the “Bad Art Friend” story.

This is why we need more writers of color, but especially more food writers of color. Although a lot of things have changed in our time, one thing remains intact: the belief that Western cooking techniques are the premier techniques of the culinary sphere, and that the best cuisines in the world are Western. Food writing remains one of the prime bastions for presenting its subject matter through an Orientalist framework (holla Edward Said). This means that Asia is still constantly used as the foil for the narcissistic West’s obsession with presenting itself as rational and advanced. This is also why we continue to get so many EW DURIAN! videos.

So I’ll say it one more time, for the people in the back. Our food is not only cheap takeout. Our food is worthy of a fine dining setting. Our chefs are worthy of being compensated accordingly (and not by tweaking our food to showcase Western techniques either!). We are perfect the way we are.

*(I discuss stuff like this with way more accomplished Asian food writers Christopher Tan (“The Way of Kueh”) and Lara Lee (“Coconut & Sambal”) at the Singapore Writers Festival in a November 6 Zoom talk called “The Hunger Pang Gang”, if you are interested.)

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What’s Cooking: Fresh butter buns

Fresh from the oven

I only recently learned about the closing of hallowed Bangkok institution Le Bouchon a couple of weeks ago, and like any unexpected (if hopefully temporary!) passing, the news gave me some unexpected feels. It was hardly Bangkok’s best French restaurant — no eatery where cockroaches are free to roam the walls could ever claim that crown. It was more about what Le Bouchon embodied to its expats: a charming seediness with a wink and a nod but not at alarming The Serpent levels; decent food, reliably made, give or take an overly gamey lamb shack or two; and just a little whiff of danger in a setting where the scariest thing most likely to happen is the aforementioned cockroach on the wall. Le Bouchon evoked a younger, mildly disreputable Bangkok, wearing a cocked hat and riding a motorcycle. Alas, the Bangkok of today wears Dockers, takes Tru Niagen and listens to meditative music on Youtube to get his blood pressure down.

Le Bouchon was a “sowing your wild oats” kind of place, where possibility beckoned from every corner if you didn’t look too deeply into the crevices. I remember the last time I went there vividly because it was an obvious attempt by three middle-aged friends whose lives had drifted apart to reanimate some semblance of our youth. We had the lamb shanks with the white beans again. It didn’t taste that good or that bad, but that wasn’t the point. It tasted exactly the same.

These butter buns also claim a pivotal niche in most Thais’ lives — not the “sowing wild oats” part, but from the part way before, when you could still eat pillowy sweets after school and feel comforted instead of guilty. This is from the navy-and-white school uniform, pigtails and black mary-janes part of life. It’s the part of life that holds the most power, if not the most allure, because it’s when those synaptic connections to food and security are first formed.

Everyone thinks of Pathum Cake when they see fresh butter buns (kanom pang nuey sot) but always skim over the part where this is a foreign recipe. Different variations are baked throughout Bangkok (and the world, no doubt), but the one that our helper Pravee makes is based on a recipe from Turkey, of all places. Wherever this recipe originally hailed from, only one thing really matters: everyone, even my super-Thai mother, enjoys it.

Pravee folding fresh butter and powdered sugar into each parcel of dough

Fresh butter buns (makes about 8-10 buns)

  • 400 g bread flour
  • 100 g cake flour
  • 25 g powdered milk
  • 125 g sugar
  • 2 tsp yeast
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 180 ml milk
  • 150 ml water
  • 50 g whipped cream
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 Tbsp butter
  • 1/2 Tbsp powdered sugar
  1. Mix all dry ingredients (flour, powdered milk, sugar, yeast and salt) in a bowl.
  2. Mix all wet ingredients (milk, water, whipped cream and egg) into a different bowl.
  3. Gradually and carefully fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients until dough is formed.
  4. Take one handful of dough at a time, roll flat into circles of about 10.5 cm circumference, and add 1/2 Tbsp butter and 1/2 Tbsp powdered sugar into center of each circle. Wrap up like a parcel and form a round ball with butter and sugar in the middle. Set into a lightly greased baking pan. Repeat with remaining dough and cover buns with a wet towel.
  1. Allow to rest for 45 minutes on the countertop, covered.
  2. Brush rested buns with glaze made of one beaten egg yolk.
  3. Combine 150 ml warm milk and 50 g melted butter and pour over buns right before inserting into oven, preheated to 180 degrees Celsius (150 if your oven runs hot like ours does).
  4. Let bake for 10-20 minutes.
  1. Before serving, cover with more powdered sugar shaken over buns with a strainer or sieve.
  2. Eat hot from the oven.

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Glutton Abroad: NY sanuk

Lunch at Thai Diner

Thai language lesson of the day: “Sanuk” is a Thai word that means “fun”. It is something that I am definitely not experiencing right now, in my seventh day of quarantine after entering the Land of Smiles. The silver lining to all of this isolation is that I have lots more time now to blab blab blab on my blog. You’re welcome.

So, in the interests of service journalism, I’ll give you a rundown on everything that has happened to me since checking into my hotel room.

Day 1: Arrive at the airport and am whisked away in a van for the drive back to town. Enter the hotel, get led into the room, and because it’s nighttime, take a well-deserved hot bath (yay bathtub) and fall like a dead tree into bed.

Day 2: Every day at 9am and 4pm we are to take a photo of our temperatures. Today is also the first in a series of three swab tests that we have to take throughout our 14-day stay. In New York, where we were last week so the memory is still fresh, there were vans parked throughout the city administering free COVID tests. The test they administer is done by swabbing very gently near the opening of the nostril, followed by a quick prick of the finger which is then rubbed onto paper to test for antibodies in the blood. All this to say that it’s not what they do in Thailand, where we are still doing the super-deep-right-up-into-your-brain-stab-type swab. Of all the things in New York, the free Lab Q van COVID test is what I miss the most, even more than bagels.

My test is negative.

Sleep.

Day 3: Yoga with Trude after I finally figure out how to zoom.

Sleep.

Day 4: Yoga, then downloading an unhealthy number of home decor and stylist games.

Sleep.

Day 5: Playing home decor and stylist games for hours. Cursing everyone who has the bad taste to not vote for my designs. WTF is it with picking the absolutely most boring stuff ever? So so sick of beige, taupe and gray. Do we all aspire to live in an Aman resort?

Sleep.

Day 6: A little swerve where I decide I am going to learn the dance to “Boy with Luv” by BTS. Discover that the best way to make yourself feel old is to try to learn the dance to “Boy with Luv” by BTS.

Second swab stab test of the stay. Negative.

Start watching “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Netflix. These ladies are mean.

Sleep.

Day 7: Here, where I am with you, ruminating on my past trip to New York, where my nose was being gently swabbed by a stranger in a van. We have reached the nostalgia stage of our quarantine.

Lunch at Wondee

Now, I’ve had bad Thai meals in New York (one meal in Williamsburg comes to mind), but I’ve had really good ones, too. Any trip to Wondee Siam, first discovered when we lived on W. 48th Street two decades ago, ends up being a good meal. In fact, it was our first meal in New York this time around, and we had only been away from Thailand for 10 days.

We ordered like we had been away from Thailand for 10 years: gang som with fresh seabass, stir-fried morning glory with chilies, stir-fried Chinese kale with salted fish, an omelet to soak up all the spice. The piece de resistance of the meal was the fatty pork kua kling, stir-fried in slivered kaffir lime leaves, turmeric, and a decent amount of chilies (though not really “Thai spicy”, it was spicy enough). So good, I forgot that I was returning to Thailand soon. That’s all you can ask of a straightforward Thai restaurant abroad, right?

Thai Diner, on the other hand, is not a straightforward Thai restaurant. Indeed — if the point of a Thai restaurant is to serve food that you could find in Thailand — then Thai Diner is not much of a Thai restaurant at all. But that’s not the point. The point is to have fun with Thai food, playing around with Thai ingredients and flavors within the parameters of a “diner”, if that diner is actually a pretty nice bistro. The dishes that result are sure to make any old-fashioned Thai person like my mom really angry. The rest of us can enjoy it for what it is: food that you might expect out of a really good Masterchef competition when the mystery box is put together by a Thai chef (I’ve been watching some Masterchef Australia while in quarantine, too).

The funny thing about Thai Diner, to me at least, is that nothing on the menu actually sounds that good. But when it comes to your table, it looks delicious, and when you take a bite of it, it’s frequently irresistible. That was definitely the case with the “cabbage rolls”, stuffed with a delicious turkey and mushroom mince and brought to the table in a puddle of tom kha soup that was actually really lovely with the cabbage. It wasn’t only the fusion-y stuff that worked, either. Straightforward Thai dishes like khao pad puu (crab fried rice), holdovers from the owners’ previous restaurant, Uncle Boon’s, were good enough to make my very Thai husband happy.

The standout of the meal, though, was a sandwich that Karen raved about before we even got to the restaurant. It seemed simple enough: the “Thai Diner egg sandwich”, a roti wrapped around a filling of scrambled egg, fried Thai basil, cheese and sai oua (Northern Thai sausage). In other words, a Thai breakfast burrito. But when Karen said she’d shared her sandwich with a friend during a previous brunch at Thai Diner only to bitterly regret it later, I believed her. This sandwich had haunted her dreams.

(via GIPHY)

Alas, Karen was forced to share her sandwich once again.

It’s the kind of dish that makes me mad that I didn’t think of it first. Isn’t that what all the best things do? “We Will Rock You”, Sriracha sauce in a squeeze bottle, cocktails in a can. Of course this makes sense. Thanks Thai Diner. I will make this at home.

Once I get home, of course. COVID swab tests willing.

Now it’s time to sleep.

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