Bangkok Glutton

I haven’t done a Thanksgiving post in a while. But I thought that now would be the best possible time to write one. Not because I’m so thankful, but because 2024 has really sucked for me, personally. Really, really sucked. Like, the worst year in recent memory. But I’ve been told by my shrink that times like these are good times to count one’s blessings.

So I’m going to tell you a secret. I’ve been keeping a list that I remember to update only periodically, called “Good Things are Always Happening to Me”. Because I am crazy, I wouldn’t normally have titled a list that way, because I think this title jinxes me. But I’m game for doing anything my therapist thinks is a good idea. So I’ve written down things like:

• “I was able to do some hard yoga poses.”
• “I had a good lunch with my dad and he gave me some money.”
• “I saw two beautiful yellow birds today.”
• “I have a place to live.”
• and so on, and so on

I don’t know if this list is changing my life, because so far, nothing’s happening. But it does give me something to do when I’m not playing Candy Crush or watching YouTube videos.

I am sure I’m not the only person who has had a shitty year. To those of you like me, I’m going to take a well-worn page out of my blog archives and, once again, reference “A Song of Ice and Fire”. It’s easy to think that right now only the bad guys are winning and the good guys are being punished. Where we are is exactly where “A Dance with Dragons” left off, more than a decade ago, with Jon Snow bleeding out into the, uh, snow (sorry for the spoiler but come on). We will likely never truly find out what happens through George R. R. Martin, but we do know there is some sort of conclusion, and that it won’t be exactly what we expect. It will be a good conclusion, but one that we won’t recognize as good until we look back on it later and realize. It will be the “green smoothie” of good conclusions, something good for us but a chore to get down.

So with that in mind, I will look back on this shitty year, and remember only the good parts of it. A lot of that means, yes, the food.

January: Deep-fried seabass in “three flavors” sauce at Pa Yunh in Petchburi

February: Kai kata (egg in a pan) at Aim Aot in Udon Thani

March: Gang pak bung with fermented pork at my aunt’s house in Chiang Rai

April: Shrimp kua kling at Haawm On Nut

May: Nasi dakae (Thai-Muslim-style fish and rice) at Nasi Dakae di Fathoni in Pattani

June: Lamb ribs at Ōre

July: Moussaka at Al-Saray Sathorn

August: Lobster rolls and steamed clams in Maine

September: Sayo at Cooking with Mon on Koh Lanta

October: Samuian Thai-Muslim tom yum soup at Somrom Space in Samui

November: Khao poon with pork heart, lungs, liver and intestine at Khao Poon Nam Jaew in Chiang Khan

It was a good year of eating! I hope that you, too, had a good year of food, and that 2025 will be a better year (and not just in terms of food) for all of us.

Just got back from Isan again. What happened while I was away? HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

If you, like me, were disappointed by the outcome of an election that feels like 5 years ago, I think we are all due to learn something from our differently-minded “friends”. That lesson is: focus on your own shit. If you feel exhausted or burned out, take care of yourself. Live to fight another day. I’ve been living in Thailand for longer than Timothee Chalamet has been alive. I’m “a’ight”, as the 30-40-year-old kids say. Concepts of thoughts and prayers.

Of course, a big part of my self-care always involves food. Increasingly that food, for me, can be found in every nook and cranny of Isan, somewhere off of a highway and tucked into a mountain hamlet or lurking behind a morning market, unheralded and unsung but always serving food packed with enough chilies to blow the part of my brain that thinks about elections away.

Road trips are always the best way, for me, to explore Isan, especially since everything is 2-4 hours away. A perfect stop for lunch/brunch: Kanom Jeen Pradok Baan Krung Yod, where, obviously, the ever-popular fermented rice noodle take center stage, accompanied by a battery of curries that includes my personal favorite, their “gang gai” (chicken curry), bulked up with yummy cubes of chicken blood. Mindful that we were in Korat (Nakhon Ratchasima), we also ordered “tum Korat” (som tum with peanuts and pla rah, a fusion of Central and Isan styles) and “pad mee Korat” (fried noodles with pork and lots of chili powder).

Just a note to point out something that I’ve noticed since working on a “spicy snack” project with a company that I signed an NDA for: if I order som tum in my broke-ass bad Thai accent, I get bland som tum, even if I assure them that I can take the heat. This has happened to me at Emporium Food Court, where I asked for 5 “met” (chilies) and got something for children (other people: why are you ordering som tum at Emporium Food Court), at Som Tum Nong Rejoice (granted, I was with a German person), and now in Korat. This wasn’t a problem when I was new to Thailand, but now that my tastebuds are as leathery and worn-out as any old Thai person’s, it’s becoming an issue. Have a look at the som tum ordered by my sister-in-law Wikki:

Now look at what I get when I order.

There is a difference, right? I’m not hallucinating? This is nothing to me! I feel like Mark Wiens!

That night, we ended up in Khon Kaen, where we were lucky enough to score a table at Kaen, arguably the fanciest place in town. Chefs Paisarn and Jib turn out thoughtful Thai dishes with purely local ingredients, and I am always looking forward to trying out what I missed last time. That night, we tried their take on “mee krob” (finished table side), a mind-blowing “thom saap” (Issn-style spicy soup) flavored with pickled plum, and a beautiful pomelo salad paired with calamari and the requisite wild betel leaves.

After a quick pit stop in Udon Thani for breakfast and an overnight in Nam Nao, we ended in Chiang Khan, a lovely Mekong riverside town that was featured in the best edition of Lonely Planet (for Isan coverage) a few years ago. From there, we could explore everything around us: the soaring peaks of Phu Kradung, the cutesy shops of Kaeng Khut Khu, and, repeatedly, the damn walking street in downtown Chiang Khan. This is where I finally got to challenge my spice threshold (it’s like going to the gym, doncha know).

We raided the morning market multiple times for some seriously kick-ass pork rinds that we could snack on with whatever chili dip we found, and saw that the locals obviously shared my yen for spicier things:

And that my love for som tum pu pla rah (som tum with pickled crabs and fermented fish sauce) would be well-matched:

But, alas: with all of the chilies I was housing, well, you can imagine how my next few days were. I picked up some activated charcoal tablets at the 7-11 (where there is a whole section of my-tummy-hurts medicine) and took it easy on my last day. This was lucky for me, because we discovered a morning/lunch vendor serving “khao poon” (the Laotian version of kanom jeen) in “nam jaew” (clear broth) with lots of special pork bits (intestine, heart, lungs, liver, kidney) that were seriously delicious after a judicious squeeze of lime and, um, more mashed chilies.

God help me, because I couldn’t help myself — I added a heaping spoonful of that mashed Karen chili to my bowl. We’ve got to get our thrills where we can, I guess. Please send me your thoughts and prayers.

I’m late to the game, but I remember the very brief, cotton ball-sized splashes that erupted after Barack Obama and Tim Walz released their “summer playlists” on Spotify. While Obama’s was, as always, suspiciously hip, Walz’s felt more real, especially since most of the songs, like an Adam Sandler playlist, were firmly ensconced in the 70s and 80s (also: Steely Dan? Unexpected).

In the spirit of Tim Walz’s playlist, I wanted to release a list of the songs that I’ve been listening to this rainy season, as it (hopefully!) winds down to a close. I have only forgotten my umbrella once this year, at Yogatique (don’t take it, it’s mine), so here’s to my lowest lost-umbrella count in the past decade!

1. “Red Eye” – War on Drugs: I still listen to this song. It’s still one of my favorite songs.
2. “Shake Some Action” – Flamin’ Groovies: I am meh on the original version. I like the other version that I can only find on Detroit Pirate Radio’s YouTube for some reason.
3. “Vampiro” – French Police: I discovered this song by accident, which explains why it’s relatively new (and by new I mean 2021).
4. “Love Song” – Sara Bareilles: This song has personal significance to me. Not explaining further.
5. “You Only Live Once” – The Strokes: I discovered this song via my sister.
6. “Apple” – Charli xcx: Same.
7. “Kid Charlemagne” – Steely Dan: See I’m just like Tim Walz! Also, this song is hilarious.
8. “Save it for Later” – The Beat: I also listen to this song all the time. Still one of my favorites.
9. “Ghost Town” – The Specials: Self-explanatory?
10. “A Thousand Miles” – Vanessa Carlton: Yes, I rewatched “White Chicks” recently. What about it?

As you can see, this list is a big mix of elderly-Gen-X-born-during-Nixon’s-presidency energy, plus I-listened-to-a-lot-of-New-Order-in-the-80s, with a soupçon of “I’m-trying-to-be-with-it-and-have-some-rizz” flair (yes I know that’s not how you use rizz). It’s a bit of this-and-that, seemingly strange and disparate elements, all mixed up together in one playlist for when I’m on public transportation and someone looks like they might want to ask me a question.

Not surprisingly, I love to mix and match with my food, too. There’s a whole genre of Thai food known as “mieng”, which involves, yes, mixing and matching different available ingredients to create your own little edible leaf “cup” of deliciousness. The most famous type of “mieng”, arguably, is “mieng kum”, always attributed to Princess Dhara Dhevi while ignoring the fact that it’s nothing like what the original dish would have been — a wrap featuring fermented tea leaves, and VERY MUCH an acquired taste. Frequently you will find mieng kum in markets and in restaurants already made up, but honestly, isn’t all the fun in making one up yourself?

There’s also a whole sub-section of “mieng” which bears no relation, flavor-profile-wise, to the “royal Thai”-ness of mieng kum with its sticky sweet sauce. It’s “mieng” [insert whatever ingredient here], where [name your protein] is mixed with other things like diced lime, ginger, peanuts and chilies and wrapped in leaves of some persuasion to be drizzled in either “jaew” (a spicy Isan sauce for meat) or seafood dipping sauce (for, er, seafood) or both. It’s like a “choose your own adventure”, but for every bite. It’s my absolute favorite thing to eat right now. Do I want more chilies or less? Do I want to include dried shrimp? Do I want to try to use every sauce currently languishing in my refrigerator? It’s your call!

Restaurants, particularly hotpot ones in Isan, offer pages and pages of “mieng” options including grilled pork collar and salt-encrusted grilled tilapia. But my favorite go-to meal is possibly the easiest of all of these: it’s canned sardines, but I am not picky — I’ll even do canned tuna. I eat this every week at least once, but I love it so much that I never take a proper picture before I start in on it. Honestly, with all the ingredients spread out in front of me when I’m hungry, it makes me feel positively giddy with all the possible combinations. It becomes even easier if you buy your own Thai seafood sauce instead of making your own!

So here, in the spirit of generosity, is our recipe for “mieng pla tuna”, but you can easily substitute this with any canned fish that you have on hand. Get mixing and matching!

Mieng Pla Tuna

Serves 4-6                Prep/cook time 5-10 minutes 

• 2 cans of tuna, packed in water, drained
• 1-5 jinda or chee fah chilies, de-seeded and sliced finely
• 1 shallot or ½ small red onion, chopped
• 1 tablespoon of ginger, julienned or cubed
• 1 tablespoon of roasted peanuts
• 1 green onion, sliced finely
• Handful of white rice noodles (optional)
• Cilantro leaves for garnish
• Lettuce leaves, washed, for wrapping

Seafood dipping sauce:

10- 15 small bird’s eye chilies (vary depending on your desired spice level)
5 cloves garlic, peeled
2 coriander (cilantro) root
3 tablespoons fish sauce
3 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons sugar, preferably palm sugar

Grind the chilies, garlic and coriander root in a mortar. Once pulverized into a paste, add the fish sauce, lime juice and sugar, and keep blending until it forms a sauce-like consistency. 

Mix first six ingredients in a bowl and set aside. In another bowl, mix ingredients for your dressing, taste, and adjust accordingly (everyone has different tastes when it comes to this). Once you’re happy with the dressing, add it to your tuna and mix together. Taste and adjust seasoning as you like.

Serve immediately with lettuce leaves on the side and cilantro leaves on top, and a serving spoon on the side. When you’re ready to eat, simply take a spoonful of tuna, place it on a lettuce leaf (or half a lettuce leaf, if they are big), wrap it up with your ingredients and a dollop of sauce and enjoy.