Glutton Abroad: Japanfest

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Takoyaki in Harajuku

There comes a time when it’s no longer enough to spend New Year’s in your own country, fighting for precious morsels of Thai food with other Thai people in crowded Thai hotspots. Instead, you opt to go to a foreign country to do these things. So it was that we ended up in Tokyo, mired in the sort of hectic, last-minute preparations for New Year’s that only bona fide desperation can inspire. Will everything get done before that clock strikes 12 and all of Japan — finally — grinds to a halt? Will everything that I’ve wanted to stuff my face with — finally — find its way down my gullet before all the restaurant, sushi bar and izakaya doors close for the holiday?

The answer: almost. I am not superhuman. At final count: 4 sushi bar trips, a handful of soba/udon noodle stops, and umpteen glasses of sake consumed. Two hacking coughs and four different types of viruses caught. Five snaking queues conquered, one while consuming streetside takoyaki while killing time to make our reservation to stand in line somewhere else. Yes, in year-end Tokyo, one must make an appointment to wait in line. Who says the Mayans were wrong?

Along the way, we discovered and rediscovered a few things. First discovery: Tokyo Skytree, the new Akasaka-area entertainment/shopping complex where no line is too long and no crowd too monolithic. Among the Hawaiian burger joints and world beer “museums” is Soba Kamimura, where a hard-working chef handcuts circles of buckwheat flour dough into gray ribbons.

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Zaru soba at Soba Kamimura

At Tofuya Ukai, we got prettified Japanophile surroundings and service you’d find at a Michelin two-starred restaurant, and … not as much tofu as you’d think. When it did show up, it was what you’d expect from a restaurant that specializes in the stuff: creamy, smooth, and er, tofu-y.

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The starring ingredient at Tofuya Ukai

That wasn’t all, of course. We ingested reams of Kobe beef, cooked in varying ways, at Gyu-an in the heart of Ginza. We downed plate after plate of deep-fried nibbles, grilled tidbits, and a large red snapper head at stylish izakaya Nakamura Shokudo. In Akasaka, @brockeats saw us through a veritable feast of grilled chicken innards on sticks at a yakitori bar. There were exercises in stomach-stretching at ryokans and more austere meals of “local” noodles and rice porridge in the foothills of Mt. Fuji. We even endured a two-hour wait to traipse into Eggs ‘n Things, a recent Honolulu transplant that appears to specialize in pancakes draped in criminal amounts of whipped cream and hot dogs without any sausages in them.

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Ojiya, in the town of Shimobe Onsen

But the best thing we had all trip had to be Itoke no Tsubo, an unassuming restaurant a few steps from the Hacchobori subway exit that reads “Stand Sushi Bar” in front. It’s two stories and only equipped with room for, at most, 20 people; the menu is in Japanese and specials change day to day. But who can fault such fresh fish (twitching abalone, crabs frantically scrabbling to escape), the hefty stock of obscure sakes and a genuine eagerness to please? And such simply prepared, delicious food? Blistered broad beans in their pods, blanched sea snails, monkfish liver scattered with chives, shirako (um, it’s fish sperm) in citrusy ponzu — a dazzling procession of stuff before we even get to the sushi, which is, of course, fresh, stylish, and yummy.

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Uni sushi at Itoke no Stub

This was, hands down, my favorite meal this trip, easily overshadowing disappointing outings to former favorite tempura restaurants or overhyped Japanese teenager traps where the waitresses lie to their customers. Not that I hold a grudge about these things or whatever (cougheggsnthingssuckscough). Of course, I will get the chance to make sure this is my favorite place to eat in Tokyo — possibly as soon as February. I cannot wait.

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Curry wishes and deep-fry dreams

Deep-fried pork belly and curry on rice at Mae Awn

Deep-fried pork belly and curry on rice at Mae Awn

Nearly every Thai food lover I know professes a deep affinity for Thailand’s street food. Never mind that it is frequently infuriating, with its occasional long waits, its heat and smoke, its intermittent inconsistencies. It’s the grime, the capricious grumps who serve as owners, the odd feral cat or two that turn street food from a sweaty, hurried interval spent pouring rice down your facehole into a quick “immersion in the Thai culture”, set in romantic, picturesque squalor.

I’m not saying the pursuit of street food is an exercise in culinary Orientalism — unless you think the locals are guilty of doing this too. Because, as much as some people think the fetishization of street food equals a food-centric depiction of the so-called “Noble Savage”, the truth is still very simple: much of Thailand’s best food is still on the street, and those plastic stools and dingy shophouses are still dominated by Thais. Thais love good Thai food. Visiting Thai food lovers want to eat what Thais eat. It is as easy as that.

Nothing quite captures the freewheeling, exuberant quality of Thai street food quite like khao gaeng (or khao gub gaeng, or khao raad gaeng, all of which mean “curry on rice”). These streetside “buffets” are actually excuses for people to act like frigging maniacs aka Lindsay Lohan in a jewelry store — a free-for-all where the ultimate reward is a pleasantly full tummy. A tableful of curries awaits; you pick up a plate of rice and choose anywhere from one to three curries … or more if your vendor is willing.

My friend Winner, who — despite his curious allegiance to the 49ers — knows Banglamphu street food better than anyone I know, is a huge fan of khao gaeng. His favorite: Raan Khao Gaeng Mae Awn, moored in the shadow of Saphan Lek and kitty-corner to the Mega Plaza. Its sign looks like this:

Look for this sign

Look for this 

Despite winning plaudits from various lady-cenric morning shows, this stall still retains its street cred — a credibly crabby lady doling out rice and curries, a handful of tables with plastic stools and a layer of grease, and the requisite crowd keen to jab you in the ear with their elbows as they pass by. Why Winner likes it: the superiority of their thom jeud (clear soup, because no Thai eats rice without some kind of soup), the popularity of its moo kem (deep-fried pork belly) and the sheer diversity of their daily offerings.

A (sort of) moveable feast

A (sort of) moveable feast

It’s a curry (and stir-fry, and deep-fried tidbits) bar, quite possibly the best kind. But no need to skulk off to Banglamphu to get some good curry action; there is an array of rice toppings (of varying sizes) at nearly every major intersection and street corner in the city. The one I frequent is next to Benjasiri Park, behind Emporium, while next to Emporium on Sukhumvit, a mammoth curry rice stand doles out food on Sundays. Find your own favorite.

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For appearance’s sake

Yumminess, unrestrained

Yumminess, unrestrained

I’ve been thinking about appearances lately. Not my own, quite obviously, because that is a one-way ticket to Sadtown. I’ve been thinking about the appearance of other things that have nothing to do with me, and how some things appeal and some don’t. For example, put me in a white sequined top and a black lace hoop skirt, and I look — not like the bag lady who got dressed out of the dumpster behind the Playboy Mansion, but like the weirdo who mugged the bag lady who got dressed out of the dumpster behind the Playboy Mansion.

Meanwhile, my friend Tutti looks like a fairy princess ever-so-slightly tweaked after a few shots of pure unicorn juice.

Tutti at Chez Pape

Tutti at Chez Pape

Tutti is, of course, a designer (those people tend to know how to put themselves together), so it may be a bit unfair to compare my dress savvy with hers. However, I — like everyone else in the world — do eat. And like many other eaters drawn to street food, I like to pretend that my focus on stuff cooked in a dingy shophouse by a crotchety old man, or slopped onto my streetside table in the sweltering midday heat, makes me a deep person able to see into the depths of whatever is on the plate in spite of my dire surroundings. The more pain, headache and heat I encounter in the pursuit of this meal, the better — I have truly earned it, this steaming, bowl-shaped reward that must be won from the clutches of the frowning dragon behind the fiery wok.

There is a special name for me, this mix of masochist and Indiana Jones wannabe. And it is called … Sucker.

Because, while I’m not drawn to white tablecloths, baby-faced waiters, and rolling trolleys heaving with sweets, and though I’m suspicious of buzzy loud dining rooms, dry ice, and long queues (except in Japan), I do have my own culinary Achilles heels. For example, I am a sucker for a grumpy old man who tells me how to eat his food. If he is wearing a stained apron and do-rag, and there is a tableful of hungry-looking customers cowering nearby on a bank of plastic stools, all the better. Some other things I love:

— Fire. Some place with big fires underneath hot woks that leap up into the sky as the chef — invariably in some sort of beanie — tosses his ingredients into the air. Smoke is a plus, but I draw the line at the surroundings and/or bystanders catching on fire.

— Geriatric servers. If a place has servers that are in the 65+ range, I am almost guaranteed to patronize it. If they yell at me when I ask questions regarding the menu, then they’ve got themselves a repeat customer.

— And last but not least, repurposed dining rooms. This is my biggest weakness of all. I remember going to the original Jay Ngor, and being shunted into a “dining room” still lined wall-to-wall with other people’s dry cleaning. Or a moving heaven and earth to find a Chinese seafood “restaurant” called Charoen Pochana, located all the way across the river and completely invisible save for a handwritten sign set directly in front of the door (hidden inside a residential courtyard).

Now, these places can step aside for my new favorite place to brag about, Vietnamese & More, which is located on the bottom floor of a condo deep in the bowels of Sukhumvit 16. What was once a living room is now a spruced-up little restaurant, complete with tidy tables and slippers for patrons who leave their shoes at the door. The twee bouquets of plastic flowers, the laminated menus — I love it all. The menu itself, a terse selection of Vietnamese favorites alongside more fusion-inspired creations, I like: not too unwieldy, tightly focused, but not full of cliches. So alongside the summer rolls and pho, you get noodle dishes inspired by places as far-flung as Korea, a “Gangnam-style” stew that resembles Spaghetti-Os but full of kim chi flavor.  And of course, there is the banh mi, a collection of cold cuts, moo yaw (steamed pork sausage) and gunchieng (Chinese-style sausage) encased in a good baguette, a handful of julienned carrot and radish, and slicks of mayo.

Try this

Try this

It’s open every day but Monday, and appears to serve all day long … but check first by calling 089-890-4890. Located on Soi Pai Sing To next to Monterey Place condo.

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