Category Archives: Bangkok

Fantasy noodles

Clear broth fish noodles at Raan Lao Sa

Clear broth fish noodles at Raan Lao Sa

I have been even more useless than usual for the past week, because I am three years behind everyone else and have just started to get curious about this “erotic” book series where the romantic leads are an emotionally distant, manipulative weirdo and the needy, nondescript girl who worships him. No, not that one. The other one. The 50 Shades one. Mind you, I am not reading the book. I refuse to spend a single red satang on a book that is actually based on the other book but no one wants to admit it or even say it out loud. That is like having lunch in a crowded restaurant where someone at the table keeps farting and everybody still resolutely shoves food into their mouth-holes, even though farting at the table is absolutely disgusting. This is the best analogy I can muster for this book’s denial of that other book.

No, I am reading the recaps of the book, because this is the kind of world we live in now, where I can be completely immersed in the recaps of a book instead of in the actual book itself. The recaps I’m referring to are written by author Jenny Trout, and they are freaking brilliant, and have saved me from more than a couple of rage-strokes, as well as around $21 (not including shipping). Thank you, Jenny Trout.

My favorite observation of hers is when she notes the guy’s obsession with making sure the heroine cleans her plate every time they eat, going so far as to order everything for her himself. Of course, this isn’t interpreted as horrifyingly-creepy-borderline-serial-killer behavior at all. This man is just so full of concern for her, yinz guys. Why doesn’t a manly man who obviously knows better order my food for me? Oh yeah, because then I would be having my mug shot taken at the police station, having slammed his face into the tabletop 1,000 times. Seriously, don’t $%&* with my food. Which leads me to the next point: this dude is all about getting his lady to eat. Eat, eat, eat. Eat more! Just eat. They even have fights about it, where she’s all, nah, I’m a lady, so I never feel like eating, even though I’m hungry, and he’s all, this is for your own good, you’ve lost too much weight, eat it now. This is where the fantasy part comes in — because ladeez never be eatin’ enough, amirite? Ladeez always bein’ too skinny and shit. Get some meat on your bones, ladies! That’s all society wants! No wonder people read these books.

There is room in everyone’s life for some fantasy, but it’s still fantasy. Such as, say, television that will make you smarter. Or a billionaire 27-year-old into BDSM who is waiting to be healed by the love of a good woman. Or … fish noodles with plenty of flavor (segueway time). Because as lovely as fish noodles can be, the flavor they leave you with is most usually described as “subtle” or “delicate”, the kind of flavors that don’t necessarily blow you away, but leave you — if you’re lucky — comfortably sated and slightly smug, because you’ve just crammed your maw with lovely light fish instead of yucky, fat-laden beef or pork. As you might be able to tell, I’m not really crazy about fish noodles. I’ll eat them if they’re there but I won’t go out of my way for them. I guess I’d eat them if Christian Grey ordered them for me and I didn’t have the energy to murder him.

But at Raan Lao Sa, these noodles are good. Like, really good. As in, don’t-have-to-add-anything-to-the-broth good. Like every other Thai person on earth, I think I have the power to make a dish magically better by adding my own special blend of sugar, chilies and peanuts that is somehow better than everyone else’s and elevates that lowly bowl of noodles to the next level. So if I don’t add anything to a bowl, it’s a big deal.

Lao Sa is on the corner of Sunthon Kosa Road, at the Na Ranong intersection, next to the Klong Toey market and the big Rama IV-New Rachadapisek intersection. The sign is a big red and white one  that looks like this:

photo-271

Bowls go for 30-40 baht, depending on size, and the number of different permutations is considerable; you can mix and match between noodles (thick, little, vermicelli, giem ee or Chinese-style spaetzle, Shanghai or green mung bean noodles, or sen pla, noodles made entirely from fish), meatballs (white fish, rugby-sized fish, fried fish, shrimp, fish wontons, crispy wontons, and euaguay, flat slices of meatball that are either steamed or fried), and broth (sai or clear, tom yum, yen ta fo, or a beguiling mix of tom yum and yen ta fo).

I had clear fish broth with thin noodles and mixed meatballs, and unable to stop myself, fishmeat noodles in a tom yum or spicy lemongrass broth. They were both delicious, and even mitigated the fact I stomped full-on into a puddle of stanky water on the way there. Watch where you step! And clean your plate.

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Thankful, circa 2013

Saying goodbye at Japanese restaurant Teppen

Saying goodbye at Japanese restaurant Teppen

It’s that time of year again when I look back on the past 11 months and post about stuff I’ve liked under the guise of being thankful for it. Which I am, really. I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and the fact that 2013 was a pretty great year, food-wise.  I’ve managed to make a fool of myself in eight different countries this year, some of them twice! I have tried goat testicle sashimi, rancid fermented bean paste, deep-fried pork cracklings rolled in Thai spices, and countless varieties of booze squeezed from bits of wheat, barley or rice. It’s been a busy year.

But there have been some great discoveries I’ve managed to make at home, too. And — no, I’m not talking a discovery like: “don’t try to make your soon-to-be-teenage daughter feel better by pointing out that setbacks are actually a learning experience” (a revelation I have just had in the past five minutes). I’m talking I’m-gonna-want-to-put-this-in-my-mouth discoveries. Strictly culinarily, of course.

I’m thankful for:

1. Teppen. It’s on Sukhumvit Soi 61, about 50 m from the entrance to the soi, on the right hand side right before you reach Park Lane (one of the neighborhood’s many, many community malls). It looks like a house and there’s not really any visible sign from the road, so it can be tricky to find. Basically, Teppen is an izakaya masquerading as some sort of sushi bar. The real stars here — aside from the “sushi” chefs who put on a “salmon show” where they race to fillet a salmon each, while shirtless — are the different types of sake on offer, which are numerous and delicious. So delicious, in fact, that my friend passed out in the bathroom here after maybe one too many. Please do not do this. I want to be able to dine here for many months to come.

Seared tuna at Teppen

Seared tuna at Teppen

2. Gai Thong. Located on Sena Nikom 1 Road, near Phaholyothin (02-579-3898), this place isn’t really that easy to get to for Sukhumvit dwellers like me. However, this unassuming little restaurant with the type of atmosphere that translates into “Isaan diner” is worth taking the trip. What I like about this place is, essentially, the chicken: a combination of both juicy and meaty — something you don’t see much in tandem anymore. What is this craze for dry, mealy gai yang (grilled chicken)? Is this something akin to the Bangkokian fondness for the candy-sweet som tum (grated papaya salad) that will inevitably accompany it? Are cottonmouth and sugary sweetness supposed to complement each other somehow? I don’t get Isaan restaurants in Bangkok nowadays.

Gai Thong's grilled chicken

Gai Thong’s grilled chicken

Incidentally, the som tum here is too sweet, too. I think I am doomed to wandering an infinite number of dusty Bangkok streets, eternally in search of a good som tum that doesn’t come straight from the top of a cart.

3. Places you’ve already heard about. If you have been anywhere in Bangkok lately, you have probably already heard of Appia and Opposite Mess Hall. These restaurants have only opened up in the past year! That is how quickly time flies. And then we all die. What was I saying before? …

So, what do I love about these places? Well, let me tell you guyz one thing for starters: I love artichokes. Marry me, artichokes. And Appia’s deep-fried artichokes (carciofi alla giudea) = one of my favorite foods in the world + the only place in the city that serves them. Also, co-owner Jarrett Wrisley is one of the best front of the house guys in the city. I’ve said this before, but I don’t try to say this too often because I suspect he suspects I may be trying to stalk him. <cue uncomfortable laughter>.

So, let me tell you another thing. I don’t really like chocolate all that much. No, seriously. I know this invalidates all the opinions I have spouted on this website previously, and that no one will ever listen to me anymore, and I will be alone forever. That is sad, but, I am all about The Truth. Except when it comes to the freaking Marou chocolate tart at Opposite Mess Hall. Marou is a chocolate maker from Vietnam who grows and processes its own chocolate. The fruits of its labors are then brought to Bangkok, where they are baked into a pie crust and somehow morph into food for the gods.

OMH's Marou chocolate tart

OMH’s Marou chocolate tart

Opposite Mess Hall has other great dishes too, and seasonal specials like yada yada yada. I am sure they are good. I don’t know. All I can think about is this tart, which is a shame, because I prayed at the Erawan Shrine and promised to give up desserts FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. So I don’t go into Opposite much, just in case this tart tempts me into straying. This is my life now, people. But in spite of this stupid silly vow, I still have a lot to be thankful for. Like pictures of chocolate tarts.

 

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Where the beef is

"Crunchy" wagyu beef with rice vermicelli at Pu Raithiemthan

“Crunchy” wagyu beef with rice vermicelli at Pu Raithiemthan

Noodle soups are a pillar of Thai street food; in fact, Thai street food probably wouldn’t exist without it. It was probably the first type of street food to appear in Bangkok, brought to our shores from the Chinese immigrants to sold this dish alongside the canals that criss-crossed the city at the time.

Noodle soups are still everywhere to be found in Bangkok, in hundreds of different iterations. The easiest way to categorize them, though, is through the protein used: chicken, fish, pork, and of course, beef. Although many Thais don’t eat beef for religious reasons, beef is still a popular option — and getting more popular as time goes by, if the number of vendors offering Japanese beef options are anything to go by.

 

Time was, you had to traipse all the way into Chinatown to get a chance at some super-expensive obsessively massaged, sake-fed beef, sold in an alleyway in the shadow of a temple. Now, there are a handful of brave beef noodle vendors who offer your choice of Wagyu, Kobe or even Matsuzaka Japanese beef varieties, and not just in the confines of an air-conditioned luxury mall. Now you, too, can sweat in an open-air dining room, just like any other common prole with his or her bowl of yen ta fo. 

The menu at Pu Raitiemtan

The menu at Pu Raitiemthan

Introducing Pu Raitiemthan, set out on Pracha Uthit Road across from Kesinee KIS School. Their beef — which you can order either krob (“crunchy”, usually a cut of beef shank that’s been simmered in beef broth), thun (stewed) or sod (“fresh”, or blanched slices of beef to order) — is sourced from Japan, Australia and Thailand (although the owner tells us he may stop ordering some cuts of Thai beef such as the “rugby” cut, due to inconsistent quality). You can have any of these preparations (or any kind of combination) with noodles (gub guaythiew), or with just broth or “dry” (gowlow nam or hang), accompanied by a small bowl of noodles or rice on the side that has been sprinkled with bits of deep-fried garlic. Here at Pu (and I’m sorry, since it’s a common Thai nickname meaning “crab”, but I do refuse to use the more popular spelling “Poo”), if they are not using the Thai varieties, they like to use Wagyu for their krob beef, Kobe for their stewed beef, and either Matsuzaka or Kobe for their freshly blanched beef.

Some beef vendors are known for their broth, and some are known for their meatballs, but the folks at Pu are known for their way with their cuts of beef: using exactly those cuts that are suited for their particular treatments. That goes for Thai beef too — never tough,  always fresh, with a nice meaty heft to the broth that ensures you clean your bowl even after the beef is all gone.

Pu Raitiemthan

Pracha Uthit Road across from Kesinee Ville compound

Open: 10am-8pm (or until they are sold out)

081-134-8348, 089-055-4847

Fresh Kobe beef and stewed beef in broth "gowlow"

Fresh Kobe beef and stewed beef in broth “gowlow”

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